Calm down, Michael, you’re on to a Winner with your Scottish cruise

Michael Winner has been singing in the rain this week, in preparation for a cruise off the Scottish coast on board one of Majestic Line’s two wonderful converted trawlers.
He flies to Glasgow on Saturday and is then planning to take a £1,000 seaplane flight to Oban to board Glen Tarsan – and he is convinced the weather is going to be foul. Gales and rain are at the lower end of his expectations; now he is even forecasting snow.
According to his ever-entertaining Twitter feed, he has bought thermal underwear, plastic macs, Wellington boots and a sou’wester, and he is also wondering whether to add seasick pills to the 34 tablets he swallows each day.
He is, however, looking forward to the tranquility and scenery which he will find in abundance – as I did on a similar cruise last October. He has chartered the vessel for himself and partner Geraldine – the boats normally carry 11 passengers and a crew of four – but need not worry about how it will cope with inclement weather. If the wind gets too high, or the sea too rough, the skipper will seek out a sheltered spot to lay up for dinner and a peaceful night’s sleep.
One thing he won’t have to worry about at this time of year is midges – fear of them is the principle factor holding back bookings in July and August, according to Majestic’s sales manager Marje Thoms.
The infamous creatures may be a plague for tourists on land, but they don’t venture out to sea.
“In the seven years history of the company we have not had one mention, let alone a negative comment about midges in our guest feedback, says Marje. “There are no midges to be found on our vessels and when we take our guests on shore, we avoid areas where they might be a nuisance. If visitors to Scotland wish to enjoy the wonderful Scottish scenery in July and August, midge free, they most certainly can do so aboard our cruises.
“If people wish to visit and enjoy the remote areas of Scotland without worrying about midges at any time of the year, a cruise is definitely the best way to do it.”
A six-night Majestic Line cruise costs £1,695.00 per person including all meals and wine with dinner. All cabins are ensuite. Spirits and locally-brewed beers can be purchased from the well-stocked bar; malt whisky is a speciality.
The Majestic Line was awarded Best Visitor Experience in the Highlands and Islands 2009 Tourism Awards and Customer Care in 2010 amongst others. One of their vessels features in the current TV commercial for Visit Scotland.