Michael leaves us in the dark

It’s to be hoped that Michael Howard discovers his sense of humour before he takes part in “An Audience With . . . ” on board P&O cruise ship Adonia this afternoon.
His earlier session, when he was billed as an “after-dinner speaker” even though the talks took place at 5.15 pm and 7.00 pm, was a po-faced ramble through his political career, from Government Minister under Margaret Thatcher, to Leader of the Opposition immediately before David Cameron.
His occasional attempts at jokes confirmed that he had been wise to choose careers in law and then politics rather than take to the stage. And it was instructive to learn how much he felt he had achieved while in office, particularly in reducing crime in the UK and being in the forefront of international moves to tackle climate change.
When Cruise Director Christine Noble opened the floor for questions, Lord Howard was comfortable in the knowledge that he was unlikely to face the sort of grilling he once received on TV’s Newsnight, when Jeremy Paxman posed the same question 12 times without receiving a straight answer.
Taking my inspiration from Ann Widdecombe (for the first and probably the last time in my life), I asked Howard if the reason the window blinds had been drawn for his appearance in Adonia’s Curzon Lounge were because he really did have “something of the night about him.”
The lawyer and politician swerved deftly. He had not asked for the blinds to be drawn, he averred, and he suggested that my question should be directed at whoever had made the decision. Finally, in a fathomless gesture, he proposed that perhaps the blinds should be opened again, which they duly were.
For this afternoon’s appearance, Lord Howard will be joined on stage by his wife Sandra, a Vogue model in the 1960s and more recently a model for Marks & Spencer. I hope she will be more illuminating.