It’s all about the motion of the ocean: cruises are sexy and you know it

Good to see the cruise industry can’t resist jumping (if you’ll pardon the expression) on the Valentine’s Day bandwagon with a typically topical piece of promotion.
A survey has discovered that 90 per cent of people questioned rated sex as the top item on their cruise itinerary. Half of those taking part said they were more likely to “be intimate” during a cruise than on a holiday ashore, and almost two-thirds said that sex on their last cruise was better than normal, while a quarter chose their cabin balcony for those close encounters.
Here’s the money shot for Royal Caribbean, who commissioned the survey – 98 per cent of those surveyed would choose an exotic cruise to celebrate a special moment such as an anniversary.
There are several ways to get in the mood for love during a cruise, apparently. Those questioned cited watching the sunset, strolling in the moonlight, star-gazing, and dinner-a-deux as their favourite aphrodisiac activities. And 58 per cent say they are likely to slip some sexy underwear into their luggage – a rather disturbing thought as some of those must be men.
I’m somewhat concerned about the 10 per cent of passengers who do not put sex high on their schedules. I hope they’re not the ones I see gathered round the jigsaws or spending too much time in the internet cafe.
It all reminded me of an inspection visit to an almost-completed cruise ship a couple of years ago, and the shocked look on the faces of those who emerged from the gents’ toilets having discovered there was a condom machine on the wall. This, by the way, was an Italian-built vessel for an American-owned company selling predominantly to the British market. By the time the ship arrived in the UK a couple of weeks later, the condom machine had disappeared.
•Royal Caribbean’s poll was among 1,000 people in the US; all of them were married or dating, half had already taken a cruise, the other half said they were interested in a cruise in the future.