Fitness centre? Spa? It’s time for me to lie back and think of England

After the patriotic British fervour of the last few days, it was time for me to go abroad again. Leaving behind a distinctly dismal and rain-sodden Gatwick airport this morning to fly to Corfu, I now find myself in a foreign land far more alien than I have ever experienced.
Not the Greek island – that was just a staging post. I was on terra firma only for as long as it took to grab my suitcase from the carousel, find a taxi and drive to the pier, where I boarded Celebrity Silhouette.
The ship itself is like an old friend – as in beautiful woman rather than a blokey mate. I was on board last July for the naming ceremony in Hamburg, and like her sisters Solstice, Eclipse and Equinox, she sets new standards for premium cruising.
But I have strayed into a whole new world. It’s called the AquaSpa, and it’s actually a world of two halves. There’s the fragrant part, where delightful young women anoint my body with unctions and potions to relieve me of stress and make me feel good. And there’s the torture chamber where tomorrow I will be set to work by a personal trainer.
Today was his day off, so we have not yet met. Before our appointment tomorrow afternoon I may well have wimped out and hidden myself in my cabin.
For five days, no alcohol will pass my lips. If I follow the pattern set at lunch and dinner today, I will be eating plain grilled fish or chicken,with fresh vegetables and salads. No bread, no pizzas, no chips. No coffee, although green tea is acceptable.
Punishing and painful work-outs in the gym will be followed by soothing sessions on the massage table. I have a feeling I’ll need all the darkened rooms available, and more.
It’s all in a good cause though. To prove that it is possible to lose weight during a cruise instead of piling on the pounds.
Even though I’m not going to achieve a miracle in just five days, it may well point me in a whole new direction as far as food and exercise are concerned. I’ve got high hopes; after all, I gave up smoking three years ago after acupuncture treatment on board P&O’s Azura.
And if it works, there may even be pictures later.