I’ve worked out how to work out

Regular readers might be thinking I have kept quiet about the fitness training aspect of this cruise on board Celebrity Silhouette. Cynics may even suggest that while I have been enjoying continuous pampering in the AquaSpa, I have abandoned my plans to push my body in the gym.
Not a bit of it. I’ve spent an hour a day under the watchful gaze of personal trainer Chris Arnott. Trouble is that until today it’s all been a bit of a blur.
Let me explain. I was a member of a gym about 30 years ago. I would go there for a light work-out several mornings a week, spend a relaxing half-hour or so in the sauna, and then finish off the session with a visit to the Bull’s Head or the Miner’s Arms for a much-needed pint or two. After a while, I abandoned the first two parts of that regime and concentrated on the third.
I have made cursory visits to ship-board gyms while being escorted round new cruise ships, but I have never stayed long enough to examine the equipment provided. It all looked a bit brutal. Especially those fancy cross-trainers, or whatever they are called.
My only acquaintance with a treadmill has been an annual appointment at the local hospital when I have endeavoured to prove to my cardiologist that he need not think about wielding his scalpel on me just yet.
So I really didn’t have a clue what all the different pieces of 21st-century gym kit are called, or what they do. Until now.
Thanks to Chris, I can step aboard an elliptical trainer with confidence for a five-minute warm-up. And after just four days, I can achieve that feat without becoming so breathless that I’m rendered incapable of speech.
I can perform a series of “reps” – I’m even getting familiar with the language – doing leg presses, leg extensions and leg curls (that’s on three separate machines, by the way).
Pull-downs and the seated row work my back, and it’s obvious what sets of muscles the chest press and shoulder press are working on. I have even become proficient at something called the Russian Twist – until this week I would have thought that was a manoeuvre performed in the ship’s casino.
The only other bit of kit I recognised was the exercise bike – upright version for me thank you; none of your recumbent rubbish! On the first day, with the resistance set as low as it would go, I completed less than two miles in 15 minutes. By the third, I was up to 2.75, with the resistance increasing, and Chris challenged me to achieve three miles on my fourth and final session.
No problem; I was there with time to spare and then stepped up the pace to achieve a magnificent 3.25 miles. I thought it was a real achievement, until I realised my brother @CancerBikeMan, did that and more relentlessly day in and day out while cycling round the UK coast last year.
The good news is that I have almost enjoyed my gym sessions. Now I will have to find ways to keep it up. The spa girls have made all the slimming claims for their products and potions; Chris has explained the importance of combining resistance work and cardio exercise in my new-found quest for fitness.
It should be easy enough while I am at sea – there isn’t a cruise ship around these days that doesn’t have a fitness centre of some sort. I’m sure Carnival Breeze, where I’ll be from Friday, has all the same equipment as Silhouette. Thanks to Chris, I now know how to use it.