Get me a new life jacket – this orange one doesn’t go with my shoes

My thanks to the people at CruiseCompare.co.uk for this piece of weekend fun – a collection of crazy complaints from cruise passengers.
1. No window in an inside cabin
The clue is in the name but maybe this guest should read-up on the different cabin types before booking next time. They may even treat themselves to a balcony.
2.The engine is too loud
One passenger overheard a man asking the captain to turn the engine off as it was too loud. Would he prefer to be stranded at sea?
3. Waiter is too quick
There are always going to be a few cruisers who complain of slow service, despite the great effort by many cruise ship employees. However, one particular woman complained that her waiter was “too quick” and made her “feel rushed”.
4. Lifejacket doesn’t match any of passenger’s shoes
One fashion conscious cruiser was heard complaining to staff during a safety drill that her orange lifejacket didn’t match any of her shoes.
5.The sea is too loud
There is quite a difference between fussy and completely crazy. Numerous guests are said to have complained that the sea was too loud during their cruise ship holiday. Maybe a hotel would be a better choice in future.
6. Poor weather
Unless Mother Nature is the captain of your ship, there is not much that can be done to solve this problem. Complaints range from “we weren’t told it would rain” to “why did this ship take us to such a hot island?”
7.Seasick
Some holidaymakers just aren’t cut out for cruising but complaining of being seasick, and it isn’t your first cruise, is rather crazy.
8. Photographer made guest look ugly
One disgruntled guest complained that the ship’s photographer had deliberately made her “look ugly” in the photos he took of her.
9.Too many children
There are some genuine complaints when it comes to children and cruising, such as kids swimming in the adult-only pool. But complaining that there are “too many children onboard” is something else. An adult-only ship would be a better choice for these passengers.
10. Bed is too comfy
One man said he was unhappy that his bed was “too comfy” meaning that he overslept on more than one occasion when he would have “preferred to be up early and making the most of his cruise.”
Actually, I’m with the complainants as far as 3 and 9 go. I like to relax over dinner and there have been times when service is rushed, particularly during so-called Any Time, or My Time dining. And now that my own kids have grown up, and I don’t yet have grandchildren to dote over, I’m happier on a ship without little ones around.
I’ll add one my own contribution to the list; the passenger who had been on a ship for only half an hour before calling the reception desk. “My travel agent promised me a cabin with a sea view,” she said. “All I can see is the car park.”
There must be more. What’s your favourite?